Like, totally tubular and AWESOME pizza skillz, dude!

I know that tension has been high. Everyone is wondering whether or not I pulled myself together and gave National Vegan Pizza Day the celebration it deserves. Rest your weary minds, I did. Not only did I celebrate National Vegan Pizza DAY, but I created National Vegan Pizza Weekend.

So mote it be!

Saturday night I was fit to be tied. And hip to be square. I had dough and some random things in my kitchen and only my mouth to feed. I decided to throw caution to the wind and create a pizza that had the potential to be awful, but that no one would ever have to taste if deemed poisonous.

The dough was homemade because I am that crazy person who has packet upon packet of Active Dry Yeast...so many jokes on the threshold...but beyond a mountain of crust (I doubled the recipe because in a past life I am pretty certain I lived during the Great Depression and as I result every time I cook I make enough food to feed Russia) I was at a loss. And then it dawned on me--in a crazy backward way; I made ravioli last week-ish! The ravioli had been filled with a delightful mixture of butternut squash, spinach, and smoked apple sage Field Roast Sausage. It was so super fantastic as ravioli filling, why wouldn't it be delicious on pizza?!?! Yeah, I know. For "sauce" I decided to take the easy route; I combined olive oil, garlic, crushed red pepper flakes, thyme and balsamic vinegar.



After this bad boy came out of the oven, I drizzled some balsamic vinegar atop and dug in. I almost died of pure pleasure. I cannot think of any adjectives to describe how stupendous this pizza was. Happy National Vegan Pizza Day to me (and Netflix---because my Saturday nights aren't lame EVER).

That pizza was so phenomenal that it immediately led to National Vegan Pizza Weekend. On Sunday I made two more gluttonous pizzas, but this time Patrick helped me eat them.

Behold Stuffed Crust Sausage (with peppers, black olives onion and mushroom and a traditional red sauce) and Taco (with Soyrizo, onions, tomatoes, black olives and a red sauce combo consisting of 1 part marinara and 2 parts salsa) PIZZA!!



The crust of the stuffed crust oozed with mozzarella Daiya; way better than the string cheese that Pizza Hut used to use.



I HATE THAT THERE ARE NO LEFTOVERS AS I TYPE THIS! (And yes, I realize it is Monday and I made these pizzas less than 24 hours ago.)

The Taco Pizza was topped with a mixture of mozzarella AND cheddar daiya!



And then, to make it more taco-y and similar to the taco pizza that the Godfathers of my youth offered, I topped it with lettuce, onion, tomato and black olives.



I am salivating.

National Vegan Pizza Day/Weekend may very well become National Vegan Pizza Month. The dam has broken (please, continue to hold your Active Dry Yeast comments). My mind overfloweth with the possibilities!

Yes, Vegan Pizza Month here we come. It's not quite National, but give it some time to catch on.

Mosquito Pizza, anyone?

Well, the time has come. Tomorrow is Vegan Pizza Day!

Yeah, I didn't know about it either, but that doesn't make me any less excited!! So excited in fact, that I immediately reached for my spiral bound notebook to jot down a grocery list. I will be making pizza all day tomorrow. All day. And I will be eating pizza all weekend. Why? Ahem:

Yum!

So, I reached for my notebook, opened to a random page and SCREAMED. Not from the sheer excitement and anticipation of the massive amounts of pizza I was going to consume in the near future, but because of the CARCASS on the page of my notebook.

It sat there, squished, like a delicate flower pressed and forever preserved. Not just a mosquito, but a Mosquito Hawk (aka Crane Fly). The quarter is a size reference.

Ew. It's still there and will remain there forever because it is permanently embedded into the page.

How am I supposed to make pizza now?!

A Guaranteed Healthy Immune System/My Tribute to Jack LaLanne

As a vegan I am sometimes asked the questions, "How do you get enough protein?" and "Don't you find yourself getting sick all of the time?"

I hold my rotund Santaesque belly and chuckle in response. Protein? That is why fake meat was invented! Not to mention the giant bowl of peanuts that sit on my coffee table. My roommate's parent's often have the same protein concern for their son and thus have been shipping a 10 lb box of shelled peanuts across country twice yearly.

Now, as far as getting sick? I have developed a sure-fire method to strengthen my immune system and resist most (if not all) forms of bacteria and infection. There are two steps involved; the first step being a healthy dose of alcohol on an almost daily basis. The final step: don't be afraid to eat things that you find on the street.

When Patrick and I were young and in love we took a stroll to the nearby Goodwill. It was probably a 2.5 mile stroll and as we neared our destination I was growing faint with hunger. Suddenly, Patrick spotted a collection of hard candy piled on the sidewalk. It was still wrapped and, as mentioned, was hard candy---none of this "injecting poison into a mini candy bar" stuff. For obvious health reasons (I was not about to die on the street outside of Goodwill) we ate the candy. And it was delicious. And I have never regretted it.

This morning Patrick and I found ourselves walking yet again (because I am the picture of health---as all vegans are). We turned the corner and happened upon a lost and forlorn seeming bagged lunch. Poor kid, but lucky us! Patrick took the orange and I took the celery and carrots (wrapped in saran wrap, but sort of squished). I ate my street veggies at lunch today and after I got over the guilt of the hungry 10 year old (whatever, like he was really going to eat the street veggies) I felt significantly healthier. And now that I am enjoying a glass of wine I am, dare I say, in peak condition.

So, whether it be street candy, a street orange or street veggies, eat up! It will only make you healthier in the end.

The Karaoke Dilemma & I COOKED!

I slept in until close to 11 AM on Saturday morning. It felt like sleeping in until dusk. The night before had been a whirlwind of rockabilly and Miller High Life that ended, begrudgingly, at 3 AM. Why, you ask? Let me explain.

Have you ever been to a karaoke bar? I love to sing. I was even in a band. Yet, karaoke eludes me. I go to these bars, and sometimes I even sing, but people in Seattle are a little cutthroat and I can't shake the feeling that I'm choosing the "wrong" song when I hand in my slip of Disney music or the Grease soundtrack instead of Madonna or Queen. And of course waiting for hours while other people butcher songs that you loved at one point in your life can be somewhat maddening. However, I discovered a solution to this Karaoke Dilemma. You Tube.

Thanks to the internet people rarely have to get up to do ANYTHING, provided that their Big Gulp is resting only a mere foot or so from the computer. And now, thanks to the internet, I can karaoke in the comfort of my own home! Pick a song, any song....

just let me know when you're ready....

okay....

HERE WE GO: (excellent choice by the way)


PLUS


And it is a wonder we went to bed at all.

Saturday was spent almost as productively. Pretzel Rolls!

I modified the recipe slightly by stuffing them with Chedder Daiya (the vegan cheese of the Gods) and Hickory Smoked Tofurky Turkey (a delicious option as far as meat analogues go).

The result was so delightful that I made another batch on Sunday and just ate one while typing this.



Now, imagine biting into that and getting a mouthful of melted cheese and, um, hot meat... Yes, go bake some! Granted, it's not the best picture, but if it were any better you would lick the screen.

It's Raining Again!

I left my rain boots on the sidewalk today.

There's more to this story and it starts with a Target gift card. In August, my loving mother sent me a Target Gift Card to celebrate my move across town. For months I pondered what to purchase and then discovered a pair of bright red rain boots. I fell in love. I imagined myself in adorable dresses with an equally adorable raincoat (that I was going to have to purchase at some point) walking around Seattle without a care in the world. It's raining? Excellent!

So, in November, I purchased the boots.

Super cute, yes? Yes.

They lasted an hour and a half. Okay, fine, they lasted 3 weeks---if that---before they ripped open and the heel started to come off. After breaking down in tears and watching my dream of becoming this girl

disappear into the gutters of downtown Seattle, I decided I would remedy the situation with (what else?!) DUCT TAPE! And zebra striped duct tape at that.

Turns out, zebra striped duct tape was not the answer. Instead, it was a pair of manly rubber boots from Value Village for $6.99!

They are appropriately called Muck Boots because that is what they are - shit. The first time I wore them was not unlike what I imagine foot binding in imperialistic China to feel like. After work I was forced to spend ANOTHER gift card from my mom (this one to Old Navy) on a pair of shoes that didn't feel like torture devices.

After having to wear slippers for 2 weeks and not being able to sleep lest the sheet brushed against my feet one would think that I'd have buried those boots in the backyard, doused the grave with kerosene and had my own little bonfire; however, one would be wrong. Instead, I left them lined up against the wall sandwiched between my red boots covered in zebra striped duct tape and my blue striped rain boots covered in teal duct tape. (Both from Target. I am sensing a horrific pattern here.)

This morning I awoke to the sound of rain. It was 4:00 AM and my only hope was that by the time I left for work at 8:00 it would have stopped. Hours later I lay in bed, listening to the rain and hitting my snooze button. I sat and contemplated my footwear options. My plan of attack was to double my socks (and wear the really thick hiking socks---and why I own those I really couldn't tell you. The last time I went hiking was in 2005 and it consisted of walking 20 feet from this really cute cabin I was renting to the hot tub in the backyard. The backyard was really woody, though, and the walk back was uphill). So, I squeezed my super padded feet into the muck boots and went on my merry way.

It was AMAZING! There was no pain. All my problems were solved. Again, I imagined myself in adorable dresses with my new muck boots. I'd make it work!

Approximately 15 minutes later my boots began to fill up with blood as I felt my heels being ripped to shreds. WHAT?! My precious heels had been unaffected during my first trek in these shit boots.

And that was when I lost my mind a little bit.

I found a bench. Sat down. Heaved off the boots and left them there. I may have flipped them off, but my memory is a little fuzzy.

Luckily I had packed shoes with me. Lucky considering the fact that normally I wear my rain boots to work and promptly change into the slippers that I keep under my desk until it's time to leave again. However, I probably would've sucked it up and walked, er hiked, to work in my thick socks if it meant STILL BEING ABLE TO WALK.

My heels are healing (har har har) and I'm hopeful that someone found the muck boots and can actually wear them. Tomorrow I am just going to duct tape my entire foot and not bother with boots.