It's Raining Again!

I left my rain boots on the sidewalk today.

There's more to this story and it starts with a Target gift card. In August, my loving mother sent me a Target Gift Card to celebrate my move across town. For months I pondered what to purchase and then discovered a pair of bright red rain boots. I fell in love. I imagined myself in adorable dresses with an equally adorable raincoat (that I was going to have to purchase at some point) walking around Seattle without a care in the world. It's raining? Excellent!

So, in November, I purchased the boots.

Super cute, yes? Yes.

They lasted an hour and a half. Okay, fine, they lasted 3 weeks---if that---before they ripped open and the heel started to come off. After breaking down in tears and watching my dream of becoming this girl

disappear into the gutters of downtown Seattle, I decided I would remedy the situation with (what else?!) DUCT TAPE! And zebra striped duct tape at that.

Turns out, zebra striped duct tape was not the answer. Instead, it was a pair of manly rubber boots from Value Village for $6.99!

They are appropriately called Muck Boots because that is what they are - shit. The first time I wore them was not unlike what I imagine foot binding in imperialistic China to feel like. After work I was forced to spend ANOTHER gift card from my mom (this one to Old Navy) on a pair of shoes that didn't feel like torture devices.

After having to wear slippers for 2 weeks and not being able to sleep lest the sheet brushed against my feet one would think that I'd have buried those boots in the backyard, doused the grave with kerosene and had my own little bonfire; however, one would be wrong. Instead, I left them lined up against the wall sandwiched between my red boots covered in zebra striped duct tape and my blue striped rain boots covered in teal duct tape. (Both from Target. I am sensing a horrific pattern here.)

This morning I awoke to the sound of rain. It was 4:00 AM and my only hope was that by the time I left for work at 8:00 it would have stopped. Hours later I lay in bed, listening to the rain and hitting my snooze button. I sat and contemplated my footwear options. My plan of attack was to double my socks (and wear the really thick hiking socks---and why I own those I really couldn't tell you. The last time I went hiking was in 2005 and it consisted of walking 20 feet from this really cute cabin I was renting to the hot tub in the backyard. The backyard was really woody, though, and the walk back was uphill). So, I squeezed my super padded feet into the muck boots and went on my merry way.

It was AMAZING! There was no pain. All my problems were solved. Again, I imagined myself in adorable dresses with my new muck boots. I'd make it work!

Approximately 15 minutes later my boots began to fill up with blood as I felt my heels being ripped to shreds. WHAT?! My precious heels had been unaffected during my first trek in these shit boots.

And that was when I lost my mind a little bit.

I found a bench. Sat down. Heaved off the boots and left them there. I may have flipped them off, but my memory is a little fuzzy.

Luckily I had packed shoes with me. Lucky considering the fact that normally I wear my rain boots to work and promptly change into the slippers that I keep under my desk until it's time to leave again. However, I probably would've sucked it up and walked, er hiked, to work in my thick socks if it meant STILL BEING ABLE TO WALK.

My heels are healing (har har har) and I'm hopeful that someone found the muck boots and can actually wear them. Tomorrow I am just going to duct tape my entire foot and not bother with boots.